Momofuku Ssam

I've never been that interested in trying Momofuku Noodle Bar. Why wait 20 minutes outside in the freezing cold just so i can get a seat in a cramped restaurant and pay outrageous prices for ramen? I can just walk half a block to Rai Rai Ken and get a hot, piping bowl of Shoyu Ramen at lightening speed. But, I've been curious about Momofuku Ssam since it opened back in the Spring. I know they're know for their Ssams (Asian Burritos), but I wanted to try their steamed buns and see if theirs is any better than the ones at Province. The steamed buns come in a pair, I got one pork and one chicken. The shredded pork and chicken were both extremely tender. The pickled cucumber and carrot slaw were a cool, refreshing compliment to the meat. But, the buns were drenched in so much sauce and oil, that it started dripping everywhere the moment i picked up my bun. Not only did it get all over my hands, the excess oil rendered the bottom part of the buns wet and soggy! A nice, clear broth or noodle soup would have gone perfectly with the buns, but Ssam doesn't sell soup. How can you call yourself a Asian-themed restaurant if you don't have noodle soup! The only non-alcoholic beverages Ssam carries are Dr. Pepper, Smart Water and San Pellegrino Limonata. A strange grouping if you ask me. Call me a typical Asian, but what about a nice Oolong Tea? Or even Jasmine Tea, I'll take that.

Had I never tasted better buns, I probably would have thought that these were pretty damn good. But I have. At Province. The Pork Shoulder steamed bun at Province is amazing. The meat is tender and even the fatty part of the pork is delicious. The hoisin sauce and pickled cucumber are the same at both restaurants, but the extra sprig of cilantro in Province's buns adds another layer of freshness and taste.

Aside from the food, my experience at Ssam was pretty bizarre. When i first walked in, I thought the restaurant was closed for a private event. The restaurant was completely empty, aside from the a crew of photographers shooting a group of people surrounded by their macbooks and ssams. Seriously, I counted 3 macbooks. The cashier tells me the group of people are from the New York Times. I was trying to figure out if any of the dudes was Frank Bruni, but I have absolutely no idea what Frank Bruni looks like. I imagine him to be a middle-aged man on the heavier side, jolly and michievious, spreading alternately joy and dispair. Not unlike Santa. I couldn't figure out the theme of the shoot. Everyone was dressed in their normal writer/editor attire, you know, vintage...i mean...thrift shop flannel shirt, slouchy jeans, tousled hair, unruly beard/other form of facial hair, like they'd woken up at noon and had spent the majority of their day writing at the neighborhood Starbucks. Except one guy, who was wearing a pair of Nicole Ritchie-sized black sunglasses, with a large, thick scarf wrapped around his face.

So, it was me, eating my bun in a dark corner of the restaurant, and the entire staff of the Dining section of the New York Times laughing it up in the other corner, under bright spotlights. When I walked past their table to throw away my trash...ok fine, i specifically went to the garbage can in their corner so I could spy on them, I overheard the crew debating the merits of Padma Lakshmi as the host of Top Chef and the attractiveness level of Gordon Ramsey. Oh come on, how predictable. If they were talking about the Superbowl, who is going to win: the Patriots or the Green Bay Packers (or whatever teams are in the Superbowl this year), or....I don't know...how some girl in Canarsie found a fried rat mixed in with her Chinese take-out meal (seriously, that happened. I just watched the story on Fox) , now that would have a surprise.

Anyway, I think my experience at Ssam pretty much exemplifies the general position of Momofuku Ssam: loved and praised by the critics, mixed reviews from the masses.